In the previous articles on extra-marital affairs, we have looked at the various concepts related to marital infidelity, including the causes behind it as well as myths surrounding the concept. Now that we have an understanding of the basics related to extra-marital affairs, let’s talk about how to avoid falling in the trap of an extra-marital affair.
As pointed out in the previous articles, it’s difficult to pinpoint just one reason which propels people toward having an affair outside of their relationship. It’s also far more complicated than blaming it on gender, age, attractiveness, and finances and so on.
So, the big question that remains is, how does one avoid falling into the trap or lure (as some may say), of an extra-marital affair in the first place? Borrowing from the causes which were discussed in the second article in this series, listed below are some ways that one can use to prevent themselves from having an extra-marital affair:
- Reflect: The first step in working on any relationship and strengthening its bond comes from knowing what we ourselves want from the relationship and how are we feeling about it? Are you happy in the relationship? Do you feel withdrawn or disconnected? It’s important that you acknowledge how you feel and what your thoughts are; without which it would be easier to have an extra-marital affair because you were not aware about your issues with your marriage/relationship anyway.
- Communication: Once you are more aware of your feelings about the relationship and your partner, go ahead and have honest communication with your partner about it. There is nothing which a constructive two-way communication cannot resolve.
- Shared Goals: In order to feel more involved in the relationship and strengthen the bond, discuss with your partner about their preferences, likes and dislikes. Take time out to work on a shared goal together as a unit rather than as an individual. Having a common goal with your partner will keep both of you more involved in the relationship.
- Prioritize your Relationship: Take out time for your relationship & consciously make an effort to be with your partner. Don’t let this happen by default but actively prioritize being with your partner and investing time in the relationship. In the digital world that we live in now, it’s rather easy to drift away and be in our own worlds even when together with loved ones. Set out sometime, every day, with just your partner and connect with each other or rather, reconnect.
- Set and Discuss Boundaries: It would also be a good preventive strategy to have an idea about what would make your partner uncomfortable, and what would be their idea of infidelity. Similarly, you can convey about yours. Being aware of things such as, whether your partner would be okay with you having dinner with a work colleague, alone or chatting with a friend from the opposite gender about sex, will help you acknowledge whether you are doing something to make your partner uncomfortable and how necessary is it really to do that.
- Have fun: Lastly, just have fun with your partner. Take efforts to recreate romantic moments in your life, have sex, be experimental with places you like to visit, create positive moments together, and basically consciously decide to have a good time together. Having fun with each other really boosts the strength of a relationship.
It’s important to remember that extra-marital affairs don’t just “happen”; rather there are a lot of factors which it rides on. Implementing certain basic steps in your relationship, such as the ones listed above, will help you to be more aware and assist in refraining from having an extra-marital affair.