The topic of extra-marital affairs and infidelity often invokes a lot of thoughts in our mind about the people having such affairs and the circumstances responsible for it. Even though extra-marital affairs are very common in our society, irrespective of whether they are right or wrong, as a society we are very mean to those involved with someone outside of their marriage.
While in the previous articles on this topic, we have spoken about why people cheat and cause behind it, in this article I will be specifically focusing on certain facts & myths surrounding the topic of extra-marital affairs and infidelity.
Let’s bust some common myths about extra-marital affairs and learn the facts instead.
Myth 1: The person wanted to have an affair.
Fact: Contrary to popular belief the person having an affair was not necessarily looking for it. In fact, research suggests that most people who ended up having an affair were not looking to get involved in one. This is also something I have regularly noticed in my therapy sessions.
You May Also Read: Extra-Marital Affairs Part 1 – The Psychology behind Why People Cheat in a Relationship?
Myth 2: Having an affair will help the marriage.
Fact: Blame it on Bollywood movies or the masochist society that we live in, it is often believed that if we have an affair then the relationship at home also improves. This claim is pretty baseless as there is no evidence to verify this; if anything, finding out that your partner was cheating on you is hurtful and does more damage to the relationship than good.
Myth 3: Affairs only happen in troubled marriages.
Fact: Infidelity also occurs with the same rate in marriages which appear to be happy and have no evident red flags. Opportunity, ease of access, no fear of getting caught, frequent travel without a partner, etc. are reasons enough to cheat in a marriage which may be absolutely happy and fulfilled.
Myth 4: It’s always the man who has an affair.
Fact: If the research statistics show us anything, it is that women tend to cheat more frequently or at least as much as men do. The difference lies in the type of affair men and women have and not so much in, which gender does it more.
Myth 5: The affair is always with someone younger and better-looking.
Fact: Again this is a baseless claim, perhaps tracing it’s the foundation to the countless number of Bollywood and Hollywood movies. But once you are married, you are not necessarily looking for good looks in the person you cheat with. It could be an attraction to their intelligence, long hours being spent together, etc. Most affairs take place between people of the same age.
You May Also Read: Extra Marital Affairs Part 2 Causes and Reasons
Myth 6: It’s your fault if your partner is found cheating.
Fact: This myth is deeply ingrained in our minds right from the start of our relationships, by the societal standards set around us. Very often, after being caught, the cheating partner will make their spouse believe that it was the latter’s fault that the former went astray in the first place. This is absolutely unjustified and wrong. The unfaithful partner is by no measures not getting enough physical or emotional support from their partner but is instead not giving enough in the relationship at home.
I hope that there is more clarity about the myths surrounding extra-marital affairs. In the next article, we will focus on another aspect of relationship infidelity.
